She frequently spoke of having something to look forward to like marriage, making love, even me coming home from work. I understood superficially, but not truly. I knew that the tedium of taking care of our children and the monotony of taking care of our home could become depressing, even become a sort of jail. 

But it wasn’t until I became an inmate in an actual jail that I truly understood the importance of having something to look forward to. Like a bird south for the winter, I longed for home. I thought I had longed for home before, during overtime at work, missing my fiance, comfort and the children, but no. In jail, I began to long for home–truly. 

Consequently, I realized childhood allows us to be ourselves–truly. Adulthood is accompanied by responsibilities and worries that become a sort of jail, so as adults we yearn for that feeling of caprice we had as children. That’s the beauty of having something to look forward to. Without it, sanity, life, happiness, so many things just won’t work, and sadness, regret and bitterness will make our hearts and souls their home. 

Now, when I look back on being at work longing to go home with wistful desire, being home resting comfortably, dreading going to work I see it all as vanity, a vanity that was a type of jail. Now, I truly have something, so many things to look forward to like marriage, making love, spending time with my fiance and our children. 

Because we nurture them, our dreams, virtues and loves are like our children, as are our vices, vanities, worries and fears. Occupying us like a home, the thoughts and feelings we give sustenance are alive too. Nurture only healthy thoughts and emotions in order to live–truly. For without happiness, without hope, even a mansion can be a jail, and living a life of affluence can become toil and hard work. 

I picture my beautiful fiance waiting for me to come home from work after a day overwhelmed with the tedium and monotony of chores and children. Tedium and monotony that can make a suffocating and oppressive jail out of an otherwise luxurious and beautiful home. 

I picture her waiting for me, and I love her–truly, with a love that makes me want to give her something to look forward to. I truly feel as though the two of us are becoming one, freeing ourselves from the shackles, the jails of doubt and worry; the handiwork of love finding a home in us. Now we are as carefree as children.