I’m as much for equal rights as any women, but I stand on equality even when there is no benefit to women. I’ll admit there is much that is left to make an even playing field, but that goes for both sides. Women have had control in one major area, child support, and if we’re honest, it hasn’t been fair.First, women have many more birth control options while men just have condoms, and we all know how well they work. Women have the pill, gels, shots, IUDs, Nuvaring, diaphragm, contraceptive sponge, the patch, plus emergency contraception better known as the morning after pill.

Then, if a pregnancy does occur, not only do women have more ways to prevent it, but also they can end it. Yes, I’m talking about abortion, but this isn’t a pro-life discussion.

I understand there are many reasons a woman may have to get an abortion, but just as a woman has reasons for not wanting a child, so too should a man have the same right not to want to be a father. This is what I mean by equal rights.

Hear me out. I’m not saying a man should have the right to force a woman to have an abortion. However, just as she has the right to terminate whether he wants the baby or not, so too should he have the right to walk if she wants to keep it.

For people who think that putting up a baby for adoption is handled fairly, think again. If a woman gets pregnant, she doesn’t have to prove that she’s a good parent to have a child.

That’s not true for men in adoption proceedings. Instead, if the man wants the child, and the woman wants to place it for adoption, he must prove he will be a good parent. However, if
she wanted to keep that same child and he didn’t, he would be forced to pay child support. That’s ridiculous!

Before the hate mail comes, just think about this. We live in a society where sex is everywhere. Yet, we can’t talk about it with our partners.

I don’t mean talking about what we enjoy, but about the ramifications sex could have.

We all know that having sex produces babies. Talking honestly with our partner about children in detail before sex can help us make better choices about the people we chose to procreate with.

Or asking ourselves honestly,

“Do I want this person to be the father/mother of my child?” If the answer has even the slightest hint of a no, then we shouldn’t have sex with that person!

It is better to walk now before it’s too late. If you should decide to have sex with that person, and they don’t want the baby that is a result, be mad at only yourself.

Listen, men don’t have the right to stop or force an abortion (and they shouldn’t), and in adoption situations they have little power there, too. It’s unfair to require them to pay child support for a baby they don’t want.

I also want to add that I think it’s wrong that men are made to feel guilty for not wanting a child they fathered. Many wars have been fought to stop making women feel guilty for having an abortion or placing a child for adoption.

Women have demanded to be understood that there are many reasons for not keeping the child. Men should have the same right.

I’ve heard the argument that it’s “his child too.” I find it interesting that it’s only his child when the woman wants to keep the baby. But the story is much different before an abortion or in an adoption proceeding. In that case, it doesn’t matter that it’s his child; he still has no say.

I agree it takes two to tango, but it shouldn’t be the woman who gets to decide how the dance gets paid. To put it bluntly, if women want ways out of having a baby that they had more than enough ways to prevent, no man should have to pay child support for a child he doesn’t want.

I want to make it clear I practice what I preach. I was 17 when I had my son. I asked his father if he seriously wanted to be in his life. He chose to walk, and I chose to let him.

When my son asked about his father, I told my son that he was a gift given to me by his father. I told him that his father wasn’t ready to be a dad, so in his (my son’s) best interest, it was better that his father wasn’t involved at all. My son has not only survived without his father, but is doing very well.